For all of my short years in life I have been afraid. I did not know what my purpose was, so I was afraid. I did not know whether my friends liked me, so I was afraid. I did not know whether I would pass that test on Wednesday, so once again I was afraid. I was always looking for the meaning of things, but guess what? That is not how the universe works, you do not need a “meaning”.
MY TURNING POINT
For the past few weeks I have been following a minor in group dynamics. The purpose of this minor is to find your place within a group. And that is what I had been trying to do all of my life, I tried to fit in. Now for one higher reason I have not only found how to fit in, I have found how I could be myself and fit in. My answer to that is trust. To trust in yourself, in the fact that things will be okay and most importantly to the trust in the people around you that have crossed your life path.
Now if you are not aware of your life path and you are following the “way to fit in” that is okay. But I found that it is hard to find happiness when you do not trust your heart enough to follow it. Following your heart means to do as you feel, Which I like to call floating. Whenever I float through life I have utter trust that everything will be okay and that the wind will carry me to where I need to be. There have been a couple of lessons I had to learn to let myself float.
Whenever I am in a group, I get the feeling that I need to contribute at least as much as any other person in that group. This feeling came from a sense that if I do not try hard enough, others will not accept me into their group. That is a really sad feeling – I prefer happy ones. So when I caught wind of this thought I tried to make it happy and unlike other easier thoughts this one was a little complicated. To feel like I would be “accepted” by others, I needed not only to accept myself, but also love myself. Only then could I trust others to let me be me.
Do not wish to be accepted, wish to be loved, for accepting means you are still different. Every human is the same in essence.
HOLD MY KITE
Now for the second part of letting myself float (and finding my true happiness) I needed others. Yes, I confess that I can not do this alone. It is as if I am a kite and I need to be held by others in order to safely float and not float away.
Through life there are some people who come awfully close to you. It feels to me like those people are meant to be on my life path. What I need to do is to let those people get closer to me. And to do this I had to: tell them what they mean to me, trust that they love me back and then float, trust the universe to give my life meaning while I trust my friends to hold my “self”.
Now my life is not far from over. And I know that there will be times where I will search for a life purpose. But I feel like with some people close around me (groups or friends) and with enough trust. I can show my love to them, and that makes the group a solid one in which I can trust to spread my wings.
Author Bio – Gegroet! my name is Daniël, I have been looking for my own path to walk for years now and only recently understood that walking with wonder is more important than finding a path. My best tip: look around you. Click here for my blog, if you want me to write about something or if you have a question please tell me on twitter: @daniel_velden