I don’t know if you’ll take any of what I have to say into account, but I suppose that’s why I need to say it.
I’ve seen you struggle with so many thing and I’ve tried to let you know I’m standing by your side through the lot of it. I know how difficult things are for you. I know how unfair life has been sometimes. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through so much, I’m sorry for all the times you’ve felt alone.
I’m sorry I wasn’t always able to reassure you when you felt the weight of the world on you. If there was anything I could’ve done to make things easier for you, I wish I could’ve done it.
But what I don’t think you realise is how much of an amazing job you’ve done on your own.
I reckon you’d be doing just as well if I wasn’t there at all.
You’ve done things that I can’t imagine doing. You’ve coped when it seemed like everything was stacked against you – when other people would have given up and when a lot of people did, but you kept on going.
I don’t know many people who can prioritise as well as you can. Even when you don’t feel like it, I’ve always been confident that you will take care of everything and everyone who needs taking care of.
I know things are tough and I wish more than anything that you would get the break you’ve been aching for. But watching you juggling everything and still keep marching on is one hell of an inspiration, and don’t you ever forget that.
I know you don’t feel strong, but I’ve seen you do things that would drive other people into the ground. I’ve seen you take on problems and hardships that would crumble just about anyone else. I can’t imagine having to go through the pains and stresses that you’ve gone through, let alone coming out at the other end still as fresh and motivated and determined as you are.
Those days when you don’t want to get out of bed in the morning, know that I am right there with you. I am absolutely not going to tell you to get up and get on with it because I’m already amazed that you haven’t stopped to take a break sooner. I would wrap you up in a blanket and bring you a hot chocolate and tell everything hounding you to back off just for a day while you finally get the rest you deserve.
You’ve fought when the people who were supposed to help you gave up on the life you were striving towards. You’ve started over from scratch so many times. You’ve fought against so many huge, life-imploding things while battling the darkness in your own mind at the same time.
I can’t imagine the strength it takes for you to carry on every day. Each time we speak I am awed by your resolve. I love the way you take every step at a time, just looking as far ahead as you can bear and always getting far further than you think possible.
One day – I promise you – things will be easier.
You’ll be able to look back on all this time and see yourself the way I see you now. You’ll see the strength that I see, the determination that I see, you’ll see everything that you’ve accomplished and you’ll finally have the space and the peace to sit back and just be proud. The way I’m proud of you.
Don’t worry about it right this second.
Your priorities now are just fine – you know how to focus on what’s important, so don’t ever doubt that. And right now maybe learning to see yourself how I do isn’t something that you have a lot of time for.
But I hope, more than anything, that one day you will love yourself as much as I love you.
Author Bio – Kirstie Summers is journalist whose day job takes her to all the most interesting places and events in South London. She also freelances for a number of sites and publications, from gaming and literature reviews to creative fiction. She lives in London and spends as much of her free time as possible making the most of being in such a diverse city. She keeps one day a week to herself to swim, relax and keep the stress of the world at bay.