Things to Consider Before Committing to a PersonThings to Consider Before Committing to a Person

Most of the time, when people make big and potentially life altering decisions, they take a while to contemplate the impact it will have on their future. They think about the changes it will cause, the sacrifices it will require them to make.

People wait for a long time and they think hard before they commit themselves to many things. To getting a tattoo, to purchasing property, to quitting a stable job in favour of a more enjoyable one. People try to think rationally and logically about these things, to gauge their situation as accurately as the fallible human mind can.

But when people get overwhelmed by emotions, all that attempt at logic goes out the window.

When people fall in love with someone – or something, sometimes, a new pet or a possession they’ve dreamed of their whole life – they stop thinking sensibly. They stop taking into consideration all the consequences of their actions. They stop worrying about what it means for the future in favour of how great they feel right now.

They jump into the arms – or bed – or heart – of that person they don’t really know all that well and they assume that everything is going to stay that perfect forever.

Perhaps, if people weren’t so impulsive with their love, there would be less heartache in the world. People wouldn’t get into relationships with people they’re clearly unsuited for. People wouldn’t end up caught in loveless relationships, or even marriages. People wouldn’t bring children into those kinds of relationships.

It’s never easy to restrain that kind of passion.

But if you can hold it back long enough to remind yourself of a few important points, it could save you and anyone else involved a lot of hassle and heartache.


That first surge of passion does recede. That’s not a bad thing, it’s a natural part of getting comfortable in a relationship. But you have to be prepared for that. Once it’s gone, you’re left with a human being with feelings who has entered into a relationship with you. If the reason you’re spending time with someone is for that titillating thrill, that feeling like a schoolkid with a crush again, then you’re going to get bored once you settle into a real relationship, and you’re going to end up hurting someone. Make sure you don’t get lust and love mixed up.


Every connection you ever have with another human being, no matter how fleeting, will have some kind of impact on you. The smallest of interactions can sometimes make a huge difference in someone’s life. Having someone close enough to you that you’re actually in a relationship with will certainly have a lasting impact. They’ll have a significant say in many of the decisions you make, you’ll pick up habits and mannerisms from them, you’ll find a way to merge your picture of the future with theirs if you stay together long enough. Choosing to allow someone to have that kind of influence on you is not a decision to be made lightly.


All the differences they could make in your life are going to equally matched in theirs. That could be a great thing. Maybe your presence in their life will be the driving force that inspires them to follow their dreams and, even if things don’t work out, they’ll always fondly remember the wonderful things you did for them. Or, maybe you’ll leave them miserable and heartbroken when it becomes clear that you weren’t ready for this relationship.


Amongst all the frivolous reasons that people get into relationships, they tend to forget the reason people get into them. Being in a relationship with someone implies that you consider them – at least – a potential life partner, someone to maybe have a family with, someone who you expect to support you throughout whatever life might throw at you. Do you really want to have to face that kind of journey with someone you don’t properly know?

Kirstie Summers,

Daily Zen.

Author Bio – Kirstie Summers is journalist whose day job takes her to all the most interesting places and events in South London. She also freelances for a number of sites and publications, from gaming and literature reviews to creative fiction. She lives in London and spends as much of her free time as possible making the most of being in such a diverse city. She keeps one day a week to herself to swim, relax and keep the stress of the world at bay.