There are some relationships that are doomed to fail. There are some that you just know won’t ever work. Sometimes, something happens in a perfectly good relationship that knocks the foundation out from beneath it.
It’s easy to tell a relationship is over when that turning points – when someone who was supposed to love you gets violent or aggressive, lies or cheats, in any way crosses a line that you consider a deal breaker.
But other times you can have a gut feeling that a relationship isn’t going anywhere without any specific thing that is to blame. Sometimes, something just feels off.
It’s a truly uncomfortable way for a relationship to end. It’s near enough impossible to explain why you want to end things when perhaps you don’t quite know the reason yourself. Perhaps the worst part of it all is that awkward build up to the final decision, while you don’t know whether or not you really want to end it or if you’re not just having a great time right now.
Whatever the end result, there are some warning signs you can look out for that would mean it’s worth at least talking to your partner.
YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE YOU CAN BE HONEST WITH THEM
Trust is a key part of any relationship and, when it’s lacking, it can impact almost every aspect of the relationship. If you don’t feel like you can be honest with your partner, then something has definitely gone wrong. If there’s anything you want to hide from them – aside, of course, from the occasional surprise party – then you’re not showing them the respect they deserve. Often, an inability to be speak openly with someone can come from a feeling that they, in turn, aren’t being honest with you. Whoever is ultimately to blame, if you are struggling to communicate about you how feel and what you want then there is little hope for a future there.
YOU DON’T GET EXCITED ABOUT SPENDING TIME WITH THEM
If you wake up next to someone every day, no one expects you to thrill like it’s your first ever date. And it doesn’t mean that you don’t get to spend time by yourself, or with other friends. But if you don’t feel even the slightest bit of joy at getting to spend some time with just your partner, then perhaps there is a better use for your time.
YOU FEEL A NEED TO CONTROL THEM
When things are going wrong, the natural human reaction is to try to rein things in as much as possible. You want to control the situation. When the problem with a situation is your connection to someone else, then sometimes the gut reaction is to try to control their behaviour. If you feel the need to know where your partner is and what they’re doing all the time, then you’re not respecting them as a human being. They have the right to privacy and they have the right to do their own thing and you’re not making anything better by imposing on those rights. The only thing you’re achieving is indulging your insecurities.
YOU’RE JUST NOT HAPPY
When it comes down to it, you don’t need a reason to leave a relationship that isn’t making you happy. You don’t have to settle. You’re allowed to just not feel it. If you think you’d be better off with some space, with being alone even just for a little while, you are absolutely entitled to that privacy to reflect and to grow and to just be.
Author Bio -Kirstie Summers is journalist whose day job takes her to all the most interesting places and events in South London. She also freelances for a number of sites and publications, from gaming and literature reviews to creative fiction. She lives in London and spends as much of her free time as possible making the most of being in such a diverse city. She keeps one day a week to herself to swim, relax and keep the stress of the world at bay.