Why You Should Never Compare Your Pain
Nobody lives a perfect life.
Even those people who seem to have the most blessed and successful existences imaginable have those days where they just don’t want to get out of bed.
Sooner or later, everyone is going to stumble. Everyone is going to lose, even if it’s only once. Someone you care about suddenly won’t be around any more. Something you really wanted is going to be jolted out of reach.
Everyone will have something that makes them feel awful. Some more than others, especially those who are suffering with any kind of clinical depression.
No matter how perfect your life may seem to people looking on from afar, that doesn’t stop it feeling bad to you.
Sometimes, it can even make it feel worse.
Even those of us who are lucky enough to receive nothing but support from the people around us can still be victim to that horrible voice inside that tells you, Other people have it worse.
You don’t deserve to be this upset.
You should appreciate what you have.
And while it is true that allowing misery to overwhelm all the things that make your life worth living, it’s more important that you don’t let guilt drag your sadness down into even gloomier pits.
It’s easy to think that you’re in the wrong for getting upset. Often, serious bouts of misery can cause levels of irritability and grumpiness that can make us feel worse. A lot of time, it can feel like someone is being ungrateful, when really they are struggling intensely to free themselves from the grip of depression.
The truth is that, in a way, that voice is right. There will always be someone who is worse off than you. You will always have something to be grateful for that perhaps many other people won’t.
But that in no way invalidates your right to feel upset.
It never belittles your suffering.
In the same way that you have every right to be proud of your achievements, even when they pale in comparison to the successes of others, your pain is personal. It belongs to you. No one else can tell you how you are supposed to feel, as long as you are honest with yourself about your emotions.
Somewhere on this planet, there is a poor, unfortunate creature that has the worst luck of anyone else alive. They are not the only person who is allowed to feel upset, just because there are others with slightly better circumstances.
Taking some time to reflect and mourn the misfortunes in your life does not mean you are forgetting about all the things you are fortunate to have.
And it’s not fair for anyone – whether it is some insensitive person who feels the need to intrude on your feelings or your own inner critic trying to make things worse – to tell you otherwise.
Author Bio – Kirstie Summers is journalist whose day job takes her to all the most interesting places and events in South London. She also freelances for a number of sites and publications, from gaming and literature reviews to creative fiction. She lives in London and spends as much of her free time as possible making the most of being in such a diverse city. She keeps one day a week to herself to swim, relax and keep the stress of the world at bay.