When Life isn’t Fair
I honestly can’t remember a time in my life where I wasn’t being given the response: “Life isn’t fair.” As a child those words offered no comfort and as I grew up… Well, they didn’t offer any comfort then either. I don’t know where I got the idea that life was supposed to be fair. I’m not even certain why Humans, as a species, believe that such a thing is our right. Perhaps it started in our early years of school when we were told that we couldn’t have something unless we brought enough for everyone – to be fair.
So we have this unreasonable expectation of fairness drilled into our heads from very young ages, only to go through the remaining years of our lives being told, and shown, that life is not fair. We’re given this lesson in life and we’re just supposed to accept it as truth and continue with our lives. However, sometimes it’s just not that easy to do. I’ve been working very hard recently, and I will admit that I believed that everything that I was doing would be rewarded. I believed that the 14 hours a day that I was putting in, and the missed time with my family, and all of the resources that I was sinking into this effort, I believed that all of it would pay off for me in the end. Like so many people, I thought that if I worked hard enough then I would be rewarded.
I believed in the illusion of fairness, like so many people. Even knowing that it doesn’t exist, and even recalling all of the evidence to the contrary, I still foolishly thought that I would reap the fruits of my labour.
But life isn’t fair, is it?
I was thinking with the wrong part of my brain again. With some effort I was able to shake off the disappointment and find a few moments of calm to meditate. With that I recalled something that I really should think about a lot more often. This is a truth that can’t be dismissed and will bring a lot more peace to a person’s heart that those useless words about fairness.
Humans are miraculous. To enable us to be here, so many different things had to happen, and knowing that is humbling. We would not exist if our galaxy was not comprised of just the right kind of dust, and stars of just the right age. We would not exist if our solar system wasn’t in just the right place in the galaxy. We would not exist if the Sun was not just the right type of star. We would not exist if our solar system was not weird enough to have exactly the planets that it does with the precise orbits that they do. We would not exist if our small planet wasn’t made of the things that it is, with a moon precisely like the one that we have, in an orbit perfect enough for life to have evolved in the first place.
All of that had to happen perfectly for us to be alive right this moment. In a universe with hundreds of billions of galaxies, each with hundreds of billions of stars, with who-knows-how-many planets, things lined up in just the way that they needed to for me to be writing this. That is truth. The comfort comes in the next part: Maybe all of my factors aren’t perfect yet. Maybe, out of the galactic mess that I sometimes believe that my life is, something is still off. Maybe one of my stars hasn’t exploded yet; maybe my planet is in the wrong orbit; maybe the Jupiter and Saturn of my life haven’t pushed Neptune and Uranus out far enough yet.
I don’t know what is off, honestly. I just know that I am a lot more at peace accepting that things haven’t worked themselves out just right for me yet, than I was bemoaning the unfairness of life.
Author Bio – Aimee Wilshire lives in western Colorado with her daughter, four dogs, two cats, and various other people that she loves. She is a student of life, a practitioner of spirituality, an observer of people, and an author. Visit her at www.aswilshire.com