Some aspects of society put an unnecessary amount of pressure on people to be independent and that seeps through to other areas of life where total independence is much more difficult. It can feel like you are expected to be successful in all elements of life and to never get stressed out about it, to be hyper competent in a way that is impossible for most people.
But being self-sufficient doesn’t mean that nobody ever helped you.
It means that you used the help that others gave you well and now no longer need it as much.
Yet still people can be afraid of asking for help, as if people will think that their need makes them weak or useless or incompetent. If this sounds like you, perhaps this book will help you.
In actuality, people’s gut response to being asked for help is a positive one. More than you might imagine, people enjoy helping others. They like to feel useful, like they’ve provided some kind of benefit to another person’s life.
And they like you for letting them do that.
Whenever you need help, and something is holding you back from asking for it, remember that what people think of you is probably very different to what you expect.
THAT YOU ARE SELF-AWARE
Asking for someone else’s expertise shows that you know your own limitations, that you understand your personal weaknesses. It shows that you have thought about what you are capable of – about your skills and your abilities – and you have decided that you could do with an extra hand based on your self knowledge.
THAT YOU ARE CONFIDENT
There’s nothing wrong with admitting that other people are stronger in certain skills than you are. Everyone has different strengths. Being prepared to admit, in front of others, where your weaknesses lie does not draw attention only to your flaws. Rather, your candidness shows others that you have accepted that your strengths lie elsewhere and are comfortable with the skills you have.
THAT YOU ARE PREPARED TO LEARN
Asking of the opinion or advice of someone with greater knowledge than you on any subject shows, simply enough, that you want to know about it, that you want to be able to engage with it, that you want to develop your understanding of it. That you want to be able to handle it yourself next time you encounter it. It shows that, instead of letting someone else do the things you find challenging, you are willing to improve yourself to live up to your own responsibilities.
THAT YOU ARE MOTIVATED
Anyone can start something and then give up at the first difficult hurdle. If you find yourself up against something you can’t deal with alone, you have a choice. You can give up, or you can ask someone else to help you. If you’re prepared to reach out for help to get to your goals, it reflects your commitment to them.
THAT YOU RESPECT THEM
If you’re asking someone for help, it shows that person that you are look up to them. That you understand that they possess a skill that you do not and that you value their input in your life. It shows that you have considered their abilities and see the strength within them.