how to start overEverything has gone wrong. The plans you made have fallen apart and you’ve realised that the path you find yourself on isn’t going anywhere. You can’t carry on this way and the only thing you can do now is find a way to start again.

For a while, it feels like the most awful thing in the world. It feels like you’ve stopped and won’t ever start moving again. It feels as if this one abrupt end will prevent there from ever being another beginning.

But that feeling is temporary, just like the situation.

You have to find another way to do things, another way you can live your life. There are a lot of positive aspects to your circumstances that, until you’re over the shock, will be difficult to see. Once you can grab hold of those, thinking about your next few steps will get a lot easier.

ALL THE PROBLEMS YOU HAD BEFORE ARE GONE

Or, at least, going. Even if there’s a little bit of residue still clinging to your business, a few repercussions you’re still smoothing over. They’re gone. All the things you were struggling with before it all collapsed, collapsed with it. Yes, you’ll have a lot of work to do to start up something else, but they’ll be fresh projects that you’re now better equipped to deal with.

THE PEOPLE WHO STUCK AROUND ARE THE ONES WORTH KEEPING

When things get difficult, it’s normal for some people – people you thought were friends – to back away. They have their own problems to worry about, they don’t need yours too. Anyone who stuck by you, who still cared when things got tough, who made the effort to support you when it was hard is someone you are lucky to have in your life.

YOU HAVE TOTAL FREEDOM TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT NEXT

When everything you had planned has disappeared, it might seem like there’s nothing left ahead of you. Really, you haven’t decided yet what you want to be there. You choose anything, out of all the options in the world. There are probably some things that might be unrealistic, but you have the rest of your life to work towards something else. And that something else is entirely down to you.

WHAT RESPONSIBILITIES DO YOU STILL HAVE?

Before you go rushing into anything new, it’s best to make sure you’ve thought about anything that is still dependent on you. If there’s anything you still need to take care of, remember to prioritise that when you’re making the decisions to come.

WHAT OPTIONS DO YOU HAVE IMMEDIATELY AVAILABLE TO YOU?

While it’s possible to go right back to the beginning to start over, it’s also worth looking into what options you have from where you already are. Maybe you’ll find something that makes use of the skills you’ve already cultivated. Maybe you’ll find something similar to your original goal that you can work on.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Ultimately, what you decide now can be primarily focussed on you. Whatever was holding you back before doesn’t matter any more. You can put yourself and your interests first.

Kirstie Summers,

Daily Zen.

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