A person’s outlook on life can make a huge difference to the way they experience reality. If you’re perpetually grumpy and pessimistic, you’ll be pleasantly surprised when things go right, but you might still manage to find something to complain about. If you’re always happy and excited, you might enjoy life more than anyone else, but you’ll probably also end up lying to yourself about a lot of things.
In order to experience life fully, you have to be aware of both the good and the bad. You have to be able to acknowledge when things are going well and when they aren’t.
And it’s far too simplistic to assume that every single one of the seven plus billion people in the world is going to fall into categories of being a ‘negative’ person or a ‘positive’ person.
There probably are people out there who cannot help but find the dark side of an amazing situation. And there probably are people who manage to find the slightest bit of joy in a terrible one. But those people are certainly in the minority.
Most people are enthusiastic and excitable when good things happen, and miserable and upset when bad things happen. Their mood reflects their experience of the world.
It doesn’t make them a bad person to be disillusioned sometimes. It doesn’t make them perfect to pretend the world is.
Cutting a human being out of your life because they are aware of a situation’s downsides is a terrible idea. It’s not fair on them, when they are just trying to be realistic about potential problems. And ignoring their concerns deprives you of information that might be valuable if it turns out that there is a serious issue you haven’t noticed.
Too often it’s thought that if you exclude the people who are profoundly negative from your life, you’ll be better inclined towards positivity. You’ll be able to see the bright side more clearly.
And while that may be true, it may not be wise.
If you’re staring so hard at the bright side that you ignore everything else, you won’t be prepared to take on the darkness when it gets so close you can’t avoid it any more. If you concentrate so much on the gloom and misery, you’ll never be able to appreciate the good things life has to offer.
Don’t assume that someone being in a bad mood, or being a bit suspicious of a situation that seems too good to be true, is going to drag you down. Don’t assume that you feeling like that for a little while will mean you won’t break free of that attitude.
Being in a bad mood isn’t permanent. Nor is being happy. It’s up to you to choose what you do with those feelings.
But whether you decide to wallow in them, learn from them, run away with them and never look back, the thing you’ll regret most will always be refusing to accept them in that moment. That’s as long as they will last. They won’t define you unless you force them to.
Appreciate what it means to experience the world the way you do. Understand that you change as your circumstances do and that it’s up to you to decide how.
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