Letting People In
It’s easy enough to post Facebook statuses when you’re drunk or annoyed, or to Tweet about what an amazing lunch you’ve just had. But to properly express your feelings can be very hard. People are expected to have the kind of iron resolve that shields them from negative emotions beyond aggressive comments posted online.
Face to face, or however else you might choose to confide in someone, it can feel like a huge chore to open up to someone. Finding the strength in yourself to trust someone can be the cause of enormous internal struggle.
But the important thing to remember is that it is worth it.
Sometimes, the only way to know whether or not you can trust someone is to risk being vulnerable in front of them. If they are outwardly horrible with the secrets that other people trust them with, then that’s a fairly good indication that they do not deserve yours. But if, generally, they have a reputation for being trustworthy, then it can be hugely rewarding in managing to trust them yourself.
The best way to see if you can trust someone is to give them some responsibility. Only once you see how they treat you, personally, after they have that little inkling of power, can you understand how deeply you can depend on them.
Secrets – for whatever reason you carry them around – have the potential to weigh so heavily on a person that it can cause permanent damage. Having even just one person that you can talk to when things get serious is a hugely valuable friend to keep. That opportunity to share when you don’t feel like you are able to cope alone is one of the most important things someone can do for you.
By only having someone to discuss things with, you can ease the effect that stress has on your mental and physical health. Even if they can’t give you any constructive advice, being able to air your own thoughts verbally with someone is an immensely useful way to help straighten things out for yourself. Being able to convey your emotions in such a way that it is clear to someone else makes them clearer in your own mind.
But first you have to have someone that you trust enough to be vulnerable with. To talk to about your most important and personal issues.
Once you are prepared to let someone into your most intimate moments and emotions, then you will feel more prepared to face the world, with someone there to support you when you need it.
That kind of affection is rare and wonderful. And if you can push through a little self-consciousness to make that connection, you will never regret taking that risk.