how to regain controlThe easiest way to let your misfortunes ruin everything else is to lose control while you’re half way through dealing with them. When things get difficult, it’s easy to let all the negative emotions pile up on top of you to the point that they stop you from changing things. They ruin your motivation. They leave you feeling helpless. You end up leaving it, hoping that someone else will deal with it. You give up.

Whether it’s because circumstances are simply not on your side or because there really is someone actively trying to stop you succeeding, there are some easy things you can do to get back a little bit of control.

STOP TREATING YOURSELF LIKE A VICTIM

No matter how accurate the feeling that you’re being purposely persecuted, it doesn’t mean you’ll automatically lose. Sometimes, you’ll be unfortunate enough to be competing with someone prepared to cheat. But not always. The people you’re competing with aren’t necessarily saboteurs. They want to get ahead just like you do. Treat every obstacle with the same resilience, whether it was there in the first place or someone threw it in your path. Don’t take these things personally, but stand up to anyone who challenges you with the same attitude they give you. If someone is picking on you, you’re much more likely to end up victimised if you don’t fight back. Anyone making that much effort to intimidate you is probably just afraid of the competition.

STOP THINKING YOU’RE POWERLESS

You’re not. You’ve just got so caught up in things going wrong that you’ve forgot that they can go right. Think back to the very start, before things got all messed up, and remember how great you felt then. Do whatever you can to reclaim that positivity. It’s yours, you’ve earned it, you deserve it. Remember all the reasons you decided that you were good enough to do this. All the skills you have that will make this work. Use them.

PLAN YOUR ROUTE

You must have had a plan at the start. And now you need to make some changes to it. And it’d be great if you could wing it all the back onto that path you started out on, but it’s highly unlikely. Sit down and think about how you got where you are. Think about what will be the best way to get back to where you need to be. You had a goal in mind before. Maybe that goal has now changed a bit based on what you’ve learned so far. Changing your plan doesn’t mean you’re giving up on the original one – it just means you’re prepared to evolve, to use your experiences to your advantage.

CARRY ON

Clear your head. Make sure you know where you’re going and how you intend to get there. Stop and reflect and rearrange whenever you need to. And keep going.

Kirstie Summers,

Daily Zen.

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