laugh at your mistakesIt was a while back. You’re basically over it now. It doesn’t affect you any more.

But, sometimes, when you look back over it, you can’t help but cringe.

You don’t like looking back over it. But sometimes, something just reminds you of it. Of that silly thing you did. That thing you got wrong. That time you goofed. Sometimes someone reminds you of it. On purpose. Because they think it’s funny.

They don’t realise you haven’t quite moved on yet.

But you will. Don’t worry about that. If you want, you can just be patient. And, in time, it’ll stop bugging you. Or you’ll just forget it ever happened. Time does that.

But you’d like to get over it sooner. Being told just to wait for it to happen naturally is frustrating. It doesn’t feel like a solution. It feels like the thing that’s haunting you is defeating you, for no other reason than you’re not over it.

Yet.

Still. You want to hurry things along.

It’s going to take some serious acceptance of self. But it’s actually not that hard.

ACCEPT THAT YOU MESSED UP

You might think that you did this a long time ago, but if it still nags at you like this, maybe you need to work on this a little more. Look back over it, now that you have all the benefit of hindsight, and accept that the mistake was yours. Come to terms with that. It makes moving on so much easier.

IF YOU’VE FIXED IT, WHY DOES IT STILL BOTHER YOU

It’s probably just that you’re a bit embarrassed now, and nothing more serious than that. But it’s worth reflecting on what happened one more time to be sure that you’ve properly squared the consequences of the blunder. Be certain that you haven’t left a loose end hanging somewhere, and that that isn’t really the problem.

REMEMBER NO ONE IS JUDGING YOU

It happened a long time ago. You’re probably the only person who still cares. There probably aren’t more than a handful of people who still remember. No one else is judging you for it. You don’t need to be worried about what other people think of what happened, because the fact is they don’t think anything.

…AND WHY DOES IT MATTER IF THEY ARE

So maybe someone does remember. But they didn’t have to deal with the consequences the way you did. For the most part, people who remember are just amused by the memory. Anyone with the nerve to judge you for a mistake that you have made amends for doesn’t deserve your worry. As long as you, personally, are satisfied that you have done everything in your power to fix the problem, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. The only person whose opinion really matters is your own. You are the only one who knows how much it affected you. You are the only one who really knows how much effort you made to change it. No one else can truly pass judgement on that.

YOU’D LAUGH IF IT HAPPENED TO SOMEONE ELSE

You would, though, wouldn’t you? This is the best way to get over something you did that makes you squirm still. Imagine someone else doing it. It’s hilarious when they mess up. You don’t hate them, or judge them. In fact, you’re quite happy they did something so amusing. So remember that when you’re fretting over it. Put yourself back into that picture and see how nothing has changed.

It was just as funny when you did it. So laugh.

Kirstie Summers,

Daily Zen.

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