HumilityTo get anywhere worth going you have to face competition. A lot of the people want to get to that good place.

In order to properly take on that competition, you have to be good at self-promotion. The first step to success is knowing how to sell yourself to the people with money and power. It’s knowing how to convince them that it’s worth investing in you – not only financially, but also investing their time, their attention and their energy.

Whether it’s in business or relationships or whatever else you want to throw yourself into, to be remembered and to be noticed, you need to know how to present yourself well.

But it’s a lot harder than just listing all your good qualities.

Most people won’t believe you without some kind of evidence – it’s why artists put so much effort into developing diverse portfolios to show people proof of their quality of work. And if you just go on about how great you are, you’ll come across as nothing but arrogant.

Being humble and being self-effacing is a fine quality. As nice as it would be if everyone could be modest and discrete, it’s not possible when people feel so much pressure to win.

Instead, you have to find a healthy balance between the two.

What you need is humility.

Humility does not mean being constantly self-deprecating, expecting others to find no worth in you or never being pleased by your own strengths. It does not mean putting yourself down or hiding your abilities.

Humility is about honesty – with and about yourself.

No one knows better than you what you can do well and what you can’t. Maybe sometimes you need an objective opinion to be sure. But, better than anyone else, you know what skills come to you with ease, what you’ve put effort into cultivating and what you just can’t manage no matter how hard you try.

So take some time to make yourself fully and wholly aware of as many of these things as you can. You don’t need to be absolutely, completely certain of your exact level of skill at every possible thing.

But know what you’re very good at and what you kind of suck at.

Be aware of the main qualities that define you – whether you’re thinking of your skill set for a career or about what aspects of your personality might be attractive to a date.

Just know.

Don’t expect to be perfect and don’t try to present yourself as flawless. You’re not. You’re human. Get over it.

Once you can be honest with yourself, you can be honest with others. Let them know what’s great about you, but don’t make out that there’s nothing lacking in your character.

Present yourself earnestly and with clarity. Be forthcoming with your weaknesses as well as your strengths. Trust that people will see through other people’s bragging and that your simple truth will be enough.

Kirstie Summers,

Daily Zen.