DecicionsIt doesn’t really matter what you have for dinner. You’re not especially bothered – none of the choices jump out at you as the one you desperately want today. You’ll be just as satisfied whatever you do. It’s not important. It’s not worth wasting your energy on. It’s not anything that’ll you’ll care about – or even remember – later on. So why bother?

Let someone else make the decision. Spend your time doing something more important.

But don’t let that attitude become the norm.

Don’t get so used to saying that things don’t matter and that nothing does. The more you hand your little choices over to someone else, the bigger you’ll find those choices getting without you even noticing.

The same way that you don’t notice yourself getting taller because the change is so incremental, you won’t notice the responsibilities you shift getting more significant. And, one day, you’ll find that someone else is in charge of all the things that do matter as well as the little ones that don’t. They’ll not just decide what’s for dinner of an evening, but what you wear in the morning, where you go during the day and what you do with your money at the end of it.

It’s all very well letting a couple of little things slide, from time to time, because it’s no one’s place to argue that you don’t have more important concerns. But it’s far too easy to let that attitude spread until you end up indifferent even to the things that really do matter.

If you get so used to shrugging off the decisions you’re faced with, you might find that you’re ignoring the things you really do want to have a say in.

Make sure that all of the decisions you make are yours and yours alone. If you’re really torn between pizza or Chinese, it’s not a huge problem to let your friend decide what to have for dinner on occasion. But make sure that whatever you do, it does satisfy you.

Compromise is a good thing. It is always good to consider the feelings and desires of the other people affected by your decisions. Or, if it only affects you, still respect the advice of those who care enough about you to offer it.

But don’t let their preference dictate your life. If you don’t know what you want, take the time to stop and think about it. Delaying a decision is always a better call than ignoring it, even if there’s someone to pick up the responsibility for you.

Whether you’re considering what snack to have with your afternoon tea or choosing what to study for your PhD, it is worth at least a moment of your time to work out what would make you happiest. No matter how well a person knows you, no one else knows what you will appreciate more than you do. Only you are in any position to properly evaluate your feelings.

When faced with any choice, make sure that what you end up with is what you genuinely want.

Kirstie Summers,

Daily Zen.